- Make With James
- Posts
- Tricked into self-help
Changes in the real world always take a long time. Society has a certain inertia. If you push in one direction, it takes a while before it starts to move. And even if you push hard, when you let go, it might just go back to where it was.
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
For the past year and a half, I’ve been reading nothing but fiction. At first, it felt strange—like I wasn’t really learning anything. No “How to X” or “The Power of Y.”
Don’t get me wrong, fiction isn’t new to me. In fact, up until my early twenties, it was all I ever read. Back then, non-fiction was the one that felt strange. But between 2019 and up to the end of 2023, non-fiction—especially self-help—completely took over my bookshelf. I stopped reading anything else.
Here’s how I used to think about it:
Experts—people who’ve spent years or even decades mastering a subject—distill all their knowledge into one book.
I can absorb all that in about ten hours.
Most of these books are about becoming a better, healthier, happier person.
So who in their right mind would not take that deal?
But there’s a catch. Of course there’s a catch. Something you kind of know deep down. Something even the authors sometimes warn you about—but you still ignore it.
These books promise transformation. They aim to teach you how to become someone else—how to become healthier, or how to become a better communicator. But what they rarely admit (at least not loudly enough) is that real transformation—if it happens at all—takes way longer than you think.
And it makes sense. You’re trying to change a grown adult’s identity. That’s no small task. It could take years, even a lifetime. But when a book has a shiny cover that promises “Learn how to X and solve all your problems,” and you start flipping through smart, action-packed tips—it’s easy to believe that change is just around the corner.
Change takes time. A lot of time.
How many things do you know you shouldn’t do—but keep doing anyway?
How often do you catch yourself acting in a way you hate, but can’t seem to stop?
Change isn’t a switch you flip. It’s incremental. It’s slow. It’s frustratingly human.
I’ll wrap this up with Adam Mastroianni’s closing lines from his latest post, The Bluetooth Test and other keyholes to the soul—because they capture exactly what I’m trying to say:
It is always possible to become a better person—even right this second!—but only a very very slightly better one. Whatever flaws you have today, you will probably have them tomorrow, and same goes for your loved ones. But you can shrink ‘em (your flaws, that is, not your loved ones) by the tiniest amount today, a bit more tomorrow, and a bit more after that.
It’s like you’re trying to move across the country, but each day, you can only move into the house that’s right next to yours. It might be months before you even make it to another zip code. But if you keep carrying your boxes from house to house, soon enough you’ll be on the other side of town, and then in the next state over, and then the next one after that.
— James
PS: I’m not saying non-fiction is bad. It can kickstart change or help reinforce a new identity you’re building. As long as you know—and accept—that tomorrow you’ll be 0.01% different at best, there’s no harm. But don’t be like James and read only non-fiction. There’s so much incredible fiction out there, enough to fill a lifetime. And fiction can spark change, too. It just hides its truths between the lines.
 | This newsletter takes a few hours to craft each week. → $3.99/month = ongoing good karma Either way, thank you for reading 🧡 |
Tools & Websites
Are.na is a visual organization tool that lets you collect, connect, and share ideas using blocks of images, text, and links in customizable, collaborative channels.
MusicHarbor is an app that helps you stay updated on new music releases, videos, news, and concerts from your favorite artists and record labels (iOS only).
Rames Quinerie is my Linktree-style home website for all my projects, writing, and hobbies. It's my second vibe-coded website, and I had a blast building it ↓
James’ Library
Newsletter | Soren Iverson blends our culture with design in his (almost) daily newsletter. He reimagines our favorite phone apps with a clever dash of sarcasm and irony. |
Article | Rachel Sugar brilliantly captures the relentless challenge of making dinner day after day. Despite having more options than ever—meal kits, takeout, ready-made meals—juggling time, budget, and health remains a constant struggle. A quiet monologue runs through my head at all times. It is this: dinner dinner dinner dinner. The thing about dinner is that you have to deal with it every single night. Figuring out what to eat is a pleasure until it becomes a constant low-grade grind. It’s not just the cooking that wears me down, but the meal planning and the grocery shopping and the soon-to-be-rotting produce sitting in my fridge. It is the time it sucks up during the week. It is the endless mental energy. Huh, I think, at 6 p.m., dicing onions. So we’re still doing this? |
…Aesthetic Corner…
 |  |
Sergio Duce, the artist behind the yo_runner Instagram account, uses simple drawings and clever shadows to show the hidden sides of everyday life. His work is playful, creative, and speaks to both kids and adults.
OneClock is an analog clock that’s just an analog clock—no apps, no screens, no Bluetooth. It’s designed to wake you gently with original music composed by Grammy winner Jon Natchez of The War on Drugs.
Sustainable Living
The Urban Cabin is a small 3D-printed retreat designed by DUS Architects in Amsterdam. Built in 2015, this 8 m² cabin turns an empty industrial space into a quiet spot to relax, with a pocket park and an outdoor bathtub. It’s a real-life test of how small, smart homes could look in the future.
Made entirely from black bio-based plastic, the cabin is fully recyclable—its parts can be shredded and reprinted. The design uses minimal materials, smart insulation, and efficient shapes to keep energy use low. This approach shows how sustainable building can be both creative and practical.
The Urban Cabin is part of the 3D Print Living Lab, which explores new ways to build homes in fast-growing cities. It proves that small spaces can still feel special, combining comfort, eco-friendly design, and new technology in one tiny package.
Friends of James
Beehiiv — the powerhouse behind all my newsletters, helping me craft, design, grow my audience, and monetize effortlessly.
Notion — my go-to tool for the last 6+ years, where I store all my notes, manage tasks, and essentially run both my life and businesses.
Webflow — the engine behind all my websites, letting me design, build, and launch seamlessly without code.
Make — the tool that runs my business on autopilot, handling all recurring and time-consuming tasks
*these are affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them. Your support directly helps keep this newsletter going ✌️
Reply