I stopped journaling

Hey — it’s James

I started journaling back in 2016. Since then, I’ve always written — some periods more consistently than others. But recently, I stopped, and here’s the reason why.

Overcomplicating

There’s just so much to write about: daily life, dreams, thoughts, frustrations, memories, goals, yearly reviews — you name it. At the beginning, and for a while, I wanted to capture all of it.

I had a notebook where each daily page was split into three sections: highlights, thoughts, and gratitude. I tracked habits on a page for each month. I had weekly, monthly, and quarterly reviews. There were pages for New Year’s resolutions, goals, and past-year reflections too.

On top of that, I kept a separate notebook just for dreams. Another for my book notes. And another for recipes.

Yeah… I was overcomplicating things. But I liked it. It felt meaningful (also, I probably had way more time back then 😅).

In the long run, though, it wasn’t sustainable. It took too much effort. And little by little, I just stopped doing it altogether.

Can You Force It?

For the past 1–2 years, my journaling habit has been slipping. It’s not that I don’t want to take the time — I do. (and no, I’m not that lazy all the time.)

But here’s the thing: I’ve lost interest in recording my daily life. And even though I’d love to save my most important thoughts somewhere, nothing really comes to mind when I sit down to write.

I’ve always been torn between two ideas:

1. You can’t force it. You can’t make your brain pour out deep thoughts at the exact moment you pull out your notebook.

2. You can force it. If you practice regularly, it gets easier. Your brain learns to recognize the moment and falls into that writing rhythm.

But here I am today — not journaling at all. And yet, it still feels strange because…

I Always Thought I Had to Write

When I don’t write, I feel guilty. Even though I know it’s okay now, that guilt still lingers.

Maybe it’s an ego thing. Do I think my thoughts are so important they must be recorded somewhere? Not sure.

I also think I’ve romanticized journaling. I picture myself in a cozy cabin deep in a Canadian forest, scribbling by candlelight. But when that fantasy meets reality? I usually want to do anything but journaling.

Plus, I was influenced by the media I was consuming when I first started journaling. It was around the rise of the ‘cold-shower YouTubers,’ and their self-improvement content resonated with me at the time. Journaling was promoted as a mental health essential, so I dove in.

But even now, that nagging guilt hasn’t fully left. And maybe that’s why…

This Newsletter Is Becoming My Journal

Not long after I stopped journaling, I felt the urge to start a personal blog or newsletter again.

It’s pretty obvious — I just transferred my journaling appeal to a new medium.

Sure, this newsletter is (way) less personal than a private notebook. But knowing that someone — even just one person — might read this makes me more dedicated. I want to create something I’m proud of, and for the past few weeks, I think I’ve been doing that.

I just hope it’s not coming from a place of virtue signaling or some obsession with productivity. What I do like, though, is that what I write here can be read, challenged, and discussed by others.

And honestly? I really enjoy it. Writing this newsletter excites me the same way journaling once did.

And for now, that’s what matters most.

Cheers!

Bits

• I’m planning to re-read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It dives into the inner struggles we face when trying to create meaningful work. I read it a few years ago, but it didn’t really click with me back then. Now, I feel like I’m in a better place to fully appreciate it.

• howisfelix.today is a project I followed a few years ago, and it just popped back into my mind today. It’s a personal data-tracking experiment by Felix Krause, who spent three years collecting over 400,000 data points on things like location, sleep, fitness, and mood to understand how they influence his daily life. The project isn’t active anymore, but it’s still an impressive website — and Felix’s reflections on the whole thing are worth checking out.